Finding Rest in the Lord
In 2006-2008, at the peak of my career with a successful piano studio and a growing flower shop, due to a series of eye problems: retinal detachments, glaucoma, and cataracts, underwent 6 major retina surgeries and several more minor surgeries, all of a sudden my world suddenly collapsed on me.
During that time, from a super hard working entrepreneur, a mom, and a wife, I was ordered by the doctors to stay in big with a face-down position for 2 weeks, at least 23 hours a day after those major surgeries. Those are difficult times for my family.
In the midst of chaos, while from my sickbed, I struggled to keep up with ordering flowers from the wholesaler, delegating responsibilities to workers, hiring substitute teachers, babysitters, taking care of the family affairs, etc. Inside or outside, there is no peace at all. Everything felt like never ending chaos and confusing 乱成一团麻.
After many failed attempts of surgery after surgery, in and out of the doctor’s office, my second retina surgeon said if your right eye could not see any light 6 weeks after this fourth surgery, the eye is blind for life. Guess what, It was total darkness after 6 weeks while the left eye was severely in cataract.
So there’s not much I can see or do during those months. My piano studio was forced to shut down and all my beloved piano families were sent away. I remembered Mama Dana came over to visit me one day and she started speaking the word of God while I was in my sickbed. Something changes that day. I started to sense a little peace and my mind started to think of God (faith arises).
You see, all these times, I have been busy searching for professional help everywhere possible to save my eyesight. I was totally disappointed with the surgeons. It was a terrifying feeling when all you see out of the right eye is total darkness. My heart was filled with fear, hopelessness, and restlessness. I started calling on the Lord for help. Started praying sincere prayer from my heart. Later on, something happened on the 12th week. My right eye started to see a shed of light in low vision. This supernatural healing was surprising to my eye surgeon as I even remembered that day in his office, he proclaimed, “That’s a miracle!”
Praise God that even though my right eye is yet to be healed completely, the cataract surgery on my left eye went well and I could start seeing again from my left eye. Every day when I woke up I can see the time on the alarm clock, I praised God. Every day I can see the homework pages my kids brought home, I praise God. Every day I can cook and do house chores, I praise God. Because, for months, I wasn’t able to do any of that.
Isaiah 以赛亚书 30:15 says, “Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence (trust) is your strength (victory in Hebrew). (NLT)
“你们得救在于平静安稳，你们得力在于归回安息。”
The entire chapter of Isaiah 30 is addressing the children of God who have turned their hearts away from God. This chapter opens up with “Woe to the rebellious children,” says the LORD. What have they done that has brought disasters and disgrace into their lives? God also says, they have “ “Woe to the rebellious children,” declares the Lord, “Who execute a plan, but not Mine,And [a] make an alliance, but not of My Spirit,In order to add sin to sin; 2 Who proceed down to Egypt Without consulting [b] Me, To take refuge in the safety of Pharaoh, And to seek shelter in the shadow of Egypt! 3 Therefore the safety of Pharaoh will be your shame, And the shelter in the shadow of Egypt, your humiliation.
耶 和 華 說 ： 禍 哉 ！ 這 悖 逆 的 兒 女 。 他 們 同 謀 ， 卻 不 由 於 我 ， 結 盟 ， 卻 不 由 於 我 的 靈 ， 以 致 罪 上 加 罪 ；2 起 身 下 埃 及 去 ， 並 沒 有 求 問 我 ； 要 靠 法 老 的 力 量 加 添 自 己 的 力 量 ， 並 投 在 埃 及 的 蔭 下 。3 所 以 ， 法 老 的 力 量 必 作 你 們 的 羞 辱 ； 投 在 埃 及 的 蔭 下 ， 要 為 你 們 的 慚 愧 。
You heard it right, these rebellious children of God, instead of trusting in God, choose to trust in man, trusting in the shadow of Egypt! with all its restless excitement. They looked to Egypt for deliverance and make worthless treaties with Egypt. That described the situation I was in before my fall.
I grew up in church as a trained Christian. Read my bible most of my days. Faithfully serve in the church. Do good work keep the law to please the Lord and men. That’s religion, not a relationship with God. But with the demands of business and life, my heart gradually departs from the Lord. I want success! I want to make more money to provide my children with a better life. Nothing’s wrong with that. Talking about chasing after wealth, I can tell you it is like drinking ocean water, the more you drink the more thirsty you became.
My life was so consumed with the worldly thing that outwardly I live a Christian life but inside I lost interest in the things of God. My condition was exactly described on verses 9-11:
(NLT) 9 That these people are stubborn rebels who refuse to pay attention to the LORD’s instructions. 10 They tell the seers, “Stop seeing visions!” They tell the prophets, “Don’t tell us what is right. Tell us nice things. Tell us lies. 11 Forget all this gloom. Get off your narrow path. Stop telling us about your ‘Holy One of Israel.’”
9 因 為 他 們 是 悖 逆 的 百 姓 、 說 謊 的 兒 女 ， 不 肯 聽 從 耶 和 華 訓 誨 的 兒 女 。10 他 們 對 先 見 說 ： 不 要 望 見 不 吉 利 的 事 ， 對 先 知 說 ： 不 要 向 我 們 講 正 直 的 話 ； 要 向 我 們 說 柔 和 的 話 ， 言 虛 幻 的 事 。11 你 們 要 離 棄 正 道 ， 偏 離 直 路 ， 不 要 在 我 們 面 前 再 提 說 以 色 列 的 聖 者
Doesn’t that describe how the world is trying to lure our children and youth? Instead of seeing the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit, come into the world of the magic and wizard. Instead of preaching the truth, tell us nice things we want to hear. Because It’s about ME ME ME. I don’t care just tell us lies, as long as it makes me feel good. If we are not careful, we can be mentally wired to shut down at anything we don’t like to hear or unpleasing to my ear.
The reality is good advice is not easy to hear 忠言逆耳。 We can always find things in life that make us feel uncomfortable. In order to escape the cruel reality, welcome to virtual reality where all the excitement is and be stress-free. I am NOT sure if any of you have experienced this in your household but I know I did before: Please don’t force me to go to church because Christians are hypocrites and I am going to forget anything they preach anyway. Look Christians are saved sinners who realized early on how much they need the continuous sanctifying grace of God to help them overcome the world.
At Charis ministry, we encourage all our families to bring our children into the presence of God. It is essential because whether you are aware or unaware of it, every time God’s word is spoken over them or whenever they are hearing a worship song, God’s incorruptible seed is sown into their hearts. These seeds are waiting for a certain condition to sprout and bear fruit. Whether it is 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, at God’s perfect timing, it will become the living dunamis power needed to face certain circumstances or struggles of life. This is what Charis ministry is about. We are investing in our children and youth. We are creating an accountability group where they can grow together as Christ’s disciples in love.
So parents, please continue to encourage your children to invest their time in church, at home, reading the bible, listening to sermons, meditating, and opening themselves to the Holy Spirit. We believe, “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12). Every word of God has power!
Back to Isaiah 30, verses 15-17,
15 This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: “Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength. But you would have none of it. 16 You said, ‘No, we will get our help from Egypt. They will give us swift horses for riding into battle.’ But the only swiftness you are going to see is the swiftness of your enemies chasing you! 17 One of them will chase a thousand of you. Five of them will make all of you flee.You will be left like a lonely flagpole on a hill or a tattered banner on a distant mountaintop.”
15 主耶和華─以色列的聖者曾如此說：你們得救在乎歸回安息；你們得力在乎平靜安穩；你們竟自不肯。16你們卻說：不然，我們要騎馬奔走。所以你們必然奔走；又說：我們要騎飛快的牲口。所以追趕你們的，也必飛快。17一人叱喝，必令千人逃跑；五人叱喝，你們都必逃跑；以致剩下的，好像山頂的旗杆，岡上的大旗。
What a sad and dangerous condition these rebellious children of God are in? Why would they choose to trust in their own judgment and turn to Egypt instead of trusting the Most High God who is mighty to save? Have they forgotten they have a heavenly Father who loves them unconditionally? Our God is Gracious. He is a faithful God.
Day and night, God is waiting patiently on us to come to Him so He can show us His love and grace. Imagine this, the moment you turn your eyes upon Jesus His helping hands are stretching out to you. Every time you take one single step towards HIM, He is running towards you. He will surely respond to your cries and our God will always answer your prayer beyond what you can ever ask or think of.
Parent picture the night when your kids woke up having some sort of nightmare and you as a parent would rush to his or her room, hugging and calming down your children. You would not leave the room until the kids are falling back to sleep in peace. That’s how our heavenly Father is. He wants you to be at rest knowing that all is well. Do not let your heart be troubled worrying about tomorrow because God already goes ahead of you. Holy Spirit is your ever-present help to guide you on what to do or to say.
God even promises in Verse 20-21, “Though the Lord gave you adversity for food and suffering for drink, he will still be with you to teach you. You will see your teacher with your own eyes. 21 Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you, a voice will say, “This is the way you should go,” whether to the right or to the left. 20 主 雖 以 艱 難 給 你 當 餅 ， 以 困 苦 給 你 當 水 ， 你 的 教 師 卻 不 再 隱 藏 ； 你 眼 必 看 見 你 的 教 師 。21 你 或 向 左 或 向 右 ， 你 必 聽 見 後 邊 有 聲 音 說 ： 這 是 正 路 ， 要 行 在 其 間
So our concluding thoughts today:
What is rest?
Rest is not inactivity or denial to progress escaping to virtual reality.
Rest is silencing our own mind surrendering our willpower under God and letting God be God.
Rest is drawing near to God so we can have a better understanding of God’s way which is always perfect.
If we are far from God, we cannot see clearly and it can cause our misconception of who God is.
Rest is turning our attention to God and starting to hear from God. My dear family, it’s time to quiet down ourselves before GOD and start listening to the Holy Spirit.
Ask God, what are the things or faulty imagination that I have been idolizing. It’s time to destroy our tie with Egypt and renounce all the silver idols and gold images if any.
Today, we choose to renounce all the things we once hold precious that are Not of God and throw them out like filthy rags. Declare with me: For me and my family, we choose God. We choose to prioritize rest and peace in my household. Ask God for more love and hope in my family, a love that covers a multitude of sins, which goes beyond right and right 超越对错的爱。 Jesus is still calling us all, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 太11:28) 凡 勞 苦 擔 重 擔 的 人 可 以 到 我 這 裡 來 ， 我 就 使 你 們 得 安 息 。
